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Dancing with the predictions

APThe new contestants for Dancing with the Stars were announced this week, so it's time for five quick predictions:

1. I will not intentionally watch an episode, but my wife will point out who is good and bad.

2. Heather Mills, the estranged wife of Paul McCartney, breaks down when asked to dance to the Paul McCartney and Wings' song, "Band on the Run."

3. Olympic speed skater Apolo Anton Ohno wipes out while doing the cha-cha, blames South Korean skaters, leaves show to join next edition of Skating With Celebrities.

4. Champion boxer Laila Ali surprises everyone by excelling in the swing dance. Just like her famous father, she floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee. And then she punches Leeza Gibbons. Audience is shocked, and although it feels guilty, also a little happy.

5. Ian Ziering drops out of the competition early because of a prior commitment to spend 10 hours per day praying that his acting career will be resurrected by a Beverly Hills 90210 reunion show.

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