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A man who was banned from the roads for a year after a police chase was angry about his punishment:
"I was extremely accommodating to all the other vehicles on the road," he said. "I would class myself as a careful and competent driver."
As we continue on a record-setting pace for rainfall in June -- WE'RE No. 1! -- it's been hard to find time to do any yard work.
That's not really disappointing, but my yard isn't looking too good. If I don't mow for another couple of days, one of my kids might get lost out there:
"Sorry officer, cancel that missing-child report. He was in the front yard all along."
Anyway, if you're also getting a little behind on your yard work, here are some lawn disasters that should make you feel better.
One positive about the deluge of rains this month is that fireworks won't be canceled because of fire danger. Unfortunately, it might still be raining next week and Fourth of July could be a washout.
But if we do have fireworks, where is the best place to see them? I can only answer with where is the worst place to see them, which would be from inside a car.
That's how I saw most fireworks displays growing up, as my dad drove around, trying to find a place where we could sit to watch. If we did find a place, we generally only saw about five minutes because we needed to leave early to avoid traffic.
As for this year, it sounds like many great fireworks displays are planned. I've even heard two of them described as "mind-blowing fireworks."
I hope drugs aren't involved.
I want to be iMazed and iStounded. I want an Apple iPhone.
Actually, I'm not all that jazzed about it. Maybe it's because I'm from the "I want my MTV" generation and I'm getting to the age where, while new technology is still exciting, it's a little threatening.
Anyway, according to this infographic from The Onion, the world's best fake-news source, it's going to be great. My favorite features:
*Nanotechnology enables it to reassemble itself when thrown against wall
*When moved from hand to ear, makes Lightsaber sound effects.
CBS Sportsline ranks its top 50 Sports Jerks of all Time. Some local connections: Bill Parcells is 50, Kenny "Don't take my picture" Rogers is 43, Terrell Owens is 33 and Michael Irvin is 22.
No. 1?
It's a stunner: O.J. Simpson.
But my favorite is No. 6, Mike Tyson. Only because they included some of his most memorable quotes. You should check out the list just for that.
My favorite:
"My power is discombobulatingly devastating. I could feel his muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm."
It's frighteningly poetic. This one is a little more Tysonish:
"I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivian."
Before you make your snack selection today, please choose wisely. There's that whole fat/calorie content thing, but I want to bring attention to the chewy-ness of your treat.
Starburst Fruit Chews, for example. Yes, they call themselves "chews," but maybe they are too extreme.
When I was putting my 4-year-old son to bed last night, he said he needed a Band-aid. He had a bad paper cut on his finger, he said, so he needed a Curious George band-aid to make it heal.
So I got him the band-aid and asked if he needed help putting it on. He could do it himself, he said, so he unwrapped the band-aid and started to put it on. But he couldn't find the paper cut.
After about a minute of searching for the massive wound, Ryan remembered that it was actually on a finger on his other hand.
Obviously, we're expecting him to make a full recovery.
OK, this might only be for the sports fans out there. But one guy has put together a list of actual sports-themed cereals that were marketed over the years.
My favorite is Kurt Warner's Crunch Time cereal. If you hold on to it for more than three seconds, you'll get sacked. And then fumble. And then get benched.
A couple of days ago I blogged about miniature golf as a real sport. Next up:
Belly-floppers as professional athletes.
OK, this can't be a full-time gig. But it does appear from the photo that this belly-flop competitor has a sponsor.
Regardless of how you feel about Fox News Channel's Bill O'Reilly, you'll probably find this clip from his show entertaining. A pair of high school students are interviewed, and one of them has a very different viewpoint than O'Reilly.
And although he's only 16 years old, he's willing to argue with O'Reilly. Under the bright lights, the kid kept it together pretty well ... certainly better than I would have.
The kid even starts using exerpts from O'Reilly's book against him.
The coaches' kids are out there, and they're playing, and "they're not as good as my kid."
That's a pretty common thought these days. Nearly every little league team includes politics, anger over playing time and frustrated or disappointed parents.
But here's something I hope is rare:
Reminder to anyone with a truck and not wanting to go to prison:
Don't attempt to run over a state trooper.
Reminder to anyone with a truck who does want to attempt to run over a state trooper:
Wear some clothes as you're trying to escape. Nudity doesn't blend in well with the surroundings.
I went to the dentist Monday, and everything went fine. Thank goodness, because even after so many years of dental visits, I still fear each time that there will be something seriously wrong and I'll need to have dental surgery. Maybe it's because the chart on the wall in the office that describes "proper flossing" seems to mock me.
There are a lot of horror stories about dentists, some true I'm sure, and others exaggerated for dramatic effect. But I have one vivid memory from about 10 years ago that fuels my fears.
During that trip to the dentist 10 years ago, I was in a dental enclave -- or workspace or cubicle or whatever -- next to a person who was having some serious work done. Because of the partial wall between us, I could only see the patient's feet.
But for several minutes, I watched as he crossed his feet different ways, arched his heels, and sometimes even kicked one foot as he struggled with the pain. There was also a lot of moaning and groaning and the sound of drilling.
I have no idea why I didn't run out of that office right then. I'm not that brave.
To anyone who's had a terrible dental experience, you have my sympathy.
Is miniature golf a sport?
“You work on your putting skills, just the same as any golfer would,” one guy said in this story. “We have a lot of people bring their own clubs in.”
They bring their own clubs in? I don't know whether that's scary or exciting.
Finally, a sport that I might be able to compete in at an elite level. That is, if I can ever do better than triple-bogey on the windmill hole.
"When her oldest son graduated from high school this spring, Lori Millard threw a memorable party.
A guitarist played for the dancers around the pool behind her Chanhassen home. Guests piled into a mobile photo booth, recording nearly 200 silly pictures. She served customized M&M's with Ben's name on them and gave out water bottles bearing the image of his face."
Wow. I think the extent of my parents' involvement in my graduation night was to tell me, "Don't get arrested."
Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha.
With that bit of lyrical genius, the Spice Girls made their debut in 1996. Now they're making a comeback, and they'll announce it this week.
Of course, Paris Hilton will also be released from "prison" this week. More than a coincidence? Yes, yes, yes.
The first Paris Hilton news conference after she is released will include the announcement that she has joined the Spice Girls. It's really not that crazy, because Paris actually released a CD last year.
But during her final days in "prison," Paris must decide what her Spice persona will be. Several contenders to sweeten up the Old Spice:
Spacy Spice
Party Spice
Suspended (license) Spice
Simple Spice
Snooty Spice
Skeleton Spice
Slammer Spice
Don't Know How to Spell Spice
Silent Spice (as a reminder to her during concerts)
Everybody can breathe a sigh or relief. The space station will not need to be abandoned. You were worried about that, right?
Yes, everything is OK. But it required a call to the international space station IT Helpdesk, and if you get the wrong IT guy, well ... it's the topic of today's column.
Thanks again to everyone who signed up for the free Humor Me newsletter last week. If you would like to sign up, there's a link at the top of this page and at the bottom of each of the columns. Humor Me is in the Entertainment category.
Have a great week.
Under Armour is the hot brand right now in sports apparel. It features lots of cool products and a slew of ridiculously dramatic commercials that are almost as unintentionally hilarious as Gatorade ads.
But another key to Under Armour sales, I believe, are the mannequins used to model their products in sporting-goods stores. I don't know if the mannequins are provided by Under Armour or the store, but if you've seen them, you know what I'm talking about.
They're like Steroid-equins. Each one looks like a taller version of Sylvester Stallone in Rambo: First Blood Part II. These Steroid-equins are out to kick some serious butt, and they've got the muscle guns to do it.
And then you see a lot of the people who wear the Under Armour stuff. Doesn't look quite as imposing on an 80-pound 12-year-old, does it? Not doing much for his dad, either, who might be pushing 40 -- and 300 pounds.
It's kind of like all the men I see walking around wearing $125 basketball shoes when it looks like they haven't played a game since Larry Bird and Charles Barkley were dominating in the shorty shorts. But even if you're about my age and not hitting the court very often, I guess wearing the latest, most expensive in basketball footwear is worth something.
The shoes offer good support as you wait in line at Krispy Kreme.
The other day I was working out at the gym and a commercial for a treatment for genital herpes came on the television. It was amazing to see how quickly everyone walking and running on the treadmills turned their heads away from the TV.
I did it too. Not out of disgust, but just to show everyone that I didn't need to be attentive to that commercial. I'm sure that's why everyone else turned away.
It would be nice if we could get some kind of warning when these commercials come on. Some of them seem to be on at all times of the day, and although I want my kids to keep expanding their vocabularies ...
Well, I don't want them asking about Viagra, either. And hey dad, what is "natural male enhancement?"
Hey, we all make mistakes. But before mass-producing a product and sending it to the stores, spell check is a good idea.
If you have a hectic day planned, as least you can be thankful it won't be as hectic as Tuesday was for a 55-year-old man from Florida.
It started around 8 a.m., when police were called to a disturbance between two men. The 55-year-old man was one of them. Here's how the rest of his day went:
*He was robbed by a man with a sword
*He was stabbed in the buttocks with the sword
*He was busted for growing marijuana.
A day to remember ... possibly in prison.
Striving to be the blogger who cares, I decided to hold this blog until after lunch.
"Sewage flows down aisles of trans-Atlantic flight"
No, it's not a deceptive headline.
Here's the story:
Passengers on a Continental Airlines flight watched as sewage overflowed from toilets while they were over the Atlantic Ocean.
"To be blatantly honest, I was more nervous than I had ever been on a flight," one passenger said.
I don't think the "blatantly honest" part is necessary. If the sewage is spilling down the aisle, it seems logical that something else might be about to hit the fan.
Why would any doctor allow his 15-year-old son to perform a ceasarian section surgery?
To put your career on the line, it would have to be a good reason.
High school graduates, as you head out into the world, remember that it's important to learn from your mistakes.
After all, we all make a few. Take me, for example. I might be the Board of Education president here in Pleasantville, but I've made a few mistakes.
I've liked a lot of Aerosmith's music over the years, and in live performances, singer Steven Tyler is a great entertainer. But for many rock stars, it's hard to age gracefully.
And I think Tyler is getting there.
He was always a little strangely androgynous. But in recent pictures, he's looking more like a man dressed up as a woman. Maybe it's those crazy lips.
Or maybe it's, well, I'm not going to say, but you can judge by this Web site.
Hello friend ... I would greet you with a handshake, but I'm not that daring. Sorry, no high five, either.
That's the kind of stuff that could end up on your permanent record at Kilmer Middle School, where students can be sent to the principal's office for hugging, holding hands or even high-fiving.
I guess that means the end of the "good touch/bad touch" lecture series kids used to get in school. It's all bad now.
My 2-year-old son is obsessed with lawnmowers, especially ride-on mowers. Whenever we go to the store, he starts saying "mano" and "I ride mano" over and over.
Unfortunately, lawnmowers aren't available at all stores, and he has to settle for sharing a grocery cart with his older brother. But Cooper will still keep saying "mano," hoping that Kroger now has lawnmowers next to the frozen foods.
Anyway, a "mano" is the one thing Cooper didn't get for his birthday last week. So if anyone has a riding lawnmower we can borrow for a few days ...
Well, your name will be the next one in his vocabulary.
The new face of terror?
It's Cecilia Beaman, a 57-year-old grandmother and principal at Pacific Middle School in Des Moines, Iowa.
She was trying to take everyone down with a butter knife. But we showed her!
My wife got me the complete series DVD of Freaks and Geeks over the weekend. It was an unusual Father's Day gift, but a great one.
This series only lasted one year, unfortunately. That happens to some of the greatest TV shows ever, while shows like The Nanny defy logic for years. Geez, even Joey was on for two years.
If you get a chance to see some of Freaks and Geeks, I bet you'll like it. It has great acting and really great music. Of course, I should point out that although I like the show, I was neither a freak nor a geek in high school. I was just a total zero.
One final note ... a lot of the actors from the show are in the movie Knocked Up. It's interesting to see how they've changed over the last six years.
Shaquille O'Neal has decided to help overweight kids in his new show Shaq's Big Challenge. Kudos to him for helping out, but it's an unscripted series, so don't expect Shaq to say much.
He's never really excelled at spontaneous dialogue. He generally sounds like a tape recorder running out of batteries.
But whatever he can do to help, that's great. Maybe he can curb the kids' appetites by showing his old commercials for Taco Bell.
There's only a slight chance of rain today, so it was good to see so many houses and businesses near me had their sprinklers on. Just never know when that drought could kick in again.
This is the problem with restricting sprinkler usage to one or two days per week. Even when it has rained four or five days in a row, people think they need to water because they won't get to again for several days.
Or maybe people just don't know how to turn off their sprinklers. Whatever the reason, wasting that much water bothers me so much that I've cut my shower time down to 45 minutes.
At the movies Friday night, I saw a preview for The Game Plan, which features Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. If you believe Hollywood is runnng out of ideas, this is a perfect example.
The Rock is a football player -- apparently the most buffed-out QB ever -- and he learns that he has a 7-year-old daughter and must take care of her. Yes! The big tough guy and a cute little kid. Formula 1A in Plasticville.
Even worse, the clips in the trailer looked horrible. If these scenes were the BEST the show has to offer, The Rock better not turn his back completely on wrestling.
I should mention, however, that the guy sitting behind me seemed to think it was hilarious. But I think he had been sipping beverages not available with the Popcorn Combo.
One waiter who didn't make it into my column was the legendary -- at least with my wife and I -- David from Olive Garden. It happened in Flagstaff, Ariz., about 12 years ago, when my wife and I were dating.
David's checklist:
Overfriendly. Yes. Intrusive. Oh yes. Talking to us every five seconds. No, but close.
But the best part was when David asked us if we wanted to start with an appetizer. No thanks, we said. But still, he started describing some appetizer that was supposedly fabulous. He looked heartbroken when we said no a second time.
"Are you sure?" he said.
YES, VERY SURE.
The part I remember most was that David described the appetizer as being "flash fried" and having a "dichotomy of flavors."
He was trying just a little too hard.
When you're a waiter, waitress or "server," it's all about getting a decent tip. I can understand that because a good chunk of the pay comes from it.
But that's why so many servers, while providing good service, can drive you absolutely crazy. It's the topic of today's column.
Thanks again to everyone who signed up for the free Humor Me newsletter last week. If you would like to sign up, there's a link at the top of this page and at the bottom of each of the columns. Humor Me is in the Entertainment category.
Have a great week.
While many people in San Antonio were preparing Thursday for an NBA championship parade, a couple of residents were competing for the Ultimate Fighting Championship.
Unofficially, anyway:
Britney Spears is asking her most die-hard fans to name her next album. As one of those die-hard fans -- Brit is like, so awesome! -- I've been trying to come up with some.
A few possibilties:
Razor Burned
Rehab Remix
Mommy Dearest
Seriously, I was a Mouseketeer
The K-Fed Reclamation Project
Oops! Somebody bought this again
Yeah, they're pretty bad. But maybe if I listen to some more Brit albums, I'll be inspired.
Still looking for that perfect gift for dad?
Try a fake beer belly at www.thebeerbelly.com. Check out the Web site ... the beer belly might come with a do-it-yourself mullet kit.
And doesn't that look like the former Mr. Britney Spears on the Web site?
Shatner takes on the gnome in this video:
"The Travelocity Gnome is a stupid little icon. ... It doesn't have half the charm I have."
The gnome might, however, have greater range as an actor.
With summer weather here, it's a good time to remind people not to leave their children in a parked car. And oh yeah ...
Don't tie up your child and leave him in a car, either.
I'm guessing these people are no longer welcome at Cracker Barrel.
Remember the judge who presided over the case involving Anna Nicole Smith's body? He was a bizarre fellow, with all the grandstanding speeches he made and the over-the-top crying.
Well, this guy might top him:
A judge had to leave the courtroom with tears running down his face Tuesday after recalling the lost pair of trousers that led to his $54 million lawsuit against a dry cleaner.
SLENTROL, the first FDA-approved drug for fighting canine obesity, is now available by prescription in America. This is important because an estimated 25 to 40 percent of dogs in the U.S. are overweight or obese.
So SLENTROL to the rescue!
It was developed in response to the unmet need for a medication to help veterinarians and pet owners help manage the weight problems in dogs who apparently have learned to open the dog food bags and cans and feed themselves too much food.
For the less talented dogs, maybe we could just feed them less food.
Thinly Pounded Reptile with a Licorice Salsa ... Baked Ferret with a Radish Bisque ... Poached Aardvark with a Watermelon Fondue ...
All are possibilities at the Froo Froo Menu Generator. Another one that would turn heads, and your stomach:
Flash-Fried Monkey with a Cotton Candy Remoulade
Just noticed this story from a couple days ago:
A 44-year-old Milwaukee woman missed her daughter's high school graduation Friday after allegedly threatening to blow up the school if the girl couldn't wear blue jeans to the ceremony, Milwaukee Police said.
Note to employer of the mother:
You better not mess with casual Friday.
Paris Hilton, America's favorite escape from reality, said in an interview with Barbara Walters that she will no longer "act dumb."
Good for Paris. It's time to grow up.
One problem:
Does anyone think it was an act?
If you're on a flight from Chicago to L.A. on U.S. Airways, you might want to pack a heavy coat.
According to an in-flight magazine for U.S. Airways, Los Angeles has relocated a bit north.
Actually, way north. I think it's now in Alaska.
"I Love L.A." singer Randy Newman was unavailable for comment.
Here's a link to a funny collection of signs posted on a Web site.
My favorite:
Smokers will be pummeled with punishing blows all over their bodies.
Isn't sending them outside enough?
Also:
Please keep your legs and arms inside the car until the car stops. Limbs are difficult to replace.
So, so true.
Catchy TV headline of the weekend for a news story:
"Ex-Whammer avoids slammer"
OK, so it wasn't exactly a NEWS story. CNN might've only given a minute to the story about George Michael so it could use the whammer/slammer headline.
But the story actually relates to Dallas:
A little scary ... Michael pleaded guilty last month to a charge of driving while under the influence of drugs. So the Wham! coming to Dallas might be the sound of your car getting hit.
Father's Day is Sunday, so the retailers will be out in force this week with Father's Day gift ideas. Of course, most fathers just want a little peace and quiet for the weekend.
In most cases, that's not likely. If you're an expectant father or want to be a dad in the future, this week's column offers some of the other things you can expect. If you're already a father, you've probably got a lot to add to these 10 tips.
Thanks again to everyone who signed up for the free Humor Me newsletter last week. If you would like to sign up, there's a link at the top of this page and at the bottom of each of the columns. Humor Me is in the Entertainment category.
Have a great week.
When does wrestling take place on a baseball field?
When someone's child doesn't make the All-Star team, that's when.
The parent vs. coach fight also included a baseball bat. Had it been a folding chair it could've been part of the next Wrestlemania pay-per-view.
I generally complain about commercials, but this one with the guy falling in love with his car's navigation system is pretty fun. The best part is the music in the background:
Turn around ... Every now and then, I get a little bit lonely ...
Yes, it's the greatness of Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart." This was truly one of the most over-the-top power ballads ever. But the most memorable part was the music video for the song. (Yes, another music video link).
This is from the days when MTV didn't have a lot in the rotation, so this song was on a lot. Thankfully, it had everything!
It starts off with doves, candles, mood lighting and shots of a full moon. It looks like a perfume commercial. But wait ... now there are guys wearing goggles, football players and ninjas doing gymnastics. And, oh yes, Bonnie Tyler wearing way too much makeup.
This gets my vote as the most bizarre music video ever.
This week 10 years ago, "MMM Bop" was one of the hottest songs in the nation. How could it not be? I'll never forget these lyrics:
Mmm bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
It really says a lot about the '90s, I think.
I remember the first time I saw the video for the song, I thought a girl was singing. Turns out Hanson was three brothers who needed a lot of hair-care products.
Swedish researchers are studying ways to print loudspeakers on paper.
Sounds like science fiction, but it's true. According to this story, the system works like this:
When you touch a picture of a new CD, the pressure of your hand or finger sends a signal, which is captured by the wire at the end of the paper and forwarded to the chip. The chip, in turn, activates an audio file, which is streamed through the printed speaker also connected to the wire and conductive ink system.
Wow. Maybe the CD will say, "Please buy me instead of downloading all these songs illegally."
A good sign that your burglary plans are not going well:
When you have to be rescued by the police.
A man in Hinesville, Ga., needed help from officers after his victims -- the intended ones, anyway -- took charge of the situation. They hit with a metal broomstick and, according to authorities, were about to whack him with a shovel.
Potential burglars, make sure you know who you're dealing with.
Here's a fun site to check out:
You can find out how many people in the U.S. share your name. For example, I typed in "Matt" and "Wixon" and got this response:
There are 0 people in the U.S. named Matt Wixon. While both names you entered were found in our database, neither was common enough to make it likely that someone in the U.S. has that name.
Wait ... I don't exist?
Actually, I guess I'm listed as "Matthew." There are four other Matthew Wixons out there.
Dang, I'm not as unique as I thought.
Some celebrity birthdays today:
Anna Kournikova is 26. Her claim to fame is listed as "tennis player." Yeah, sure.
NBA player Allen Iverson is 32. I actually thought he was older than that because he's been around so long.
And Prince is 49. Wow, that really makes me feel old. But he's been able to stay in the public eye for a long time, even if he didn't have an audible name for a while.
Today's the day to honor him by playing his music and partying like it's his 41st birthday.
I wouldn't mention this story if it had ended tragically, but instead it ended miraculously. Picture this:
A 21-year-old man is crossing the street in a wheelchair, and he gets hits by a semi. The wheelchair gets lodged in the grill of the semi, and the semi then pushes the wheelchair for about two miles.
The man in the wheelchair WAS NOT INJURED. It was "quite a ride," he said.
Did you know that today is National Yo-Yo Day?
Of course you didn't. If you did, you probably created this Web site.
According to the site, the most popular Yo-Yo tricks are "walking the dog" and "shooting the moon," the latter of which should involve wearing pants.
In related news, a huge crowd is gathering in Washington to raise awareness about the lack of a National Slinky Day.
As we prepare for the big 2008 election year, which I guess has already started, here's a clever commercial spoof:
Vote Jimmy Jones for Preschool President. He colors inside the lines.
Pit bulls get a lot of bad publicity when they chew on humans. So here's a story about Pepper, a smart, life-saving pit bull who woke her family up when the house was filling up with smoke.
"If it weren't for my dog, we probably wouldn't have made it out the house," one person said.
When firefighters arrived on the scene, the house was fully ablaze. And they were attacked by Pepper for intruding into the family's front yard.
Wait, that's not right. Here's the real story.
If the Ultimate Fighting Championships draw people to pay-per-view, there are some guys in Alabama who could make some money from their next fight. Last week, the men were allegedly in a fight using a battle axe, sword, and crossbow.
It's like a bizarre offshoot of the Clue game.
London has unveiled its logo for the 2012 Olympics. It's a little unusual looking, but I don't have a strong opinion about it.
However, British prime minister Tony Blair does. In overdramatic speak typical of politicians, Blair said he hopes the symbol will leave people "inspired to make a positive change in their life."
Can any logo be that inspiring?
while Jacques Rogge, president of the International Olympic Committee, praised it as a "truly innovative brand" that would appeal to the young.
This is truly too weird for me to put into words, so here's a direct excerpt from some news I found:
The US military investigated building a "gay bomb", which would make enemy soldiers "sexually irresistible" to each other, government papers say."
And it wasn't that long ago, according to this story. Seems pretty crazy to me, but I don't know much about chemical attraction and all that. Maybe the government could just parachute Carson Kressley from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy into enemy camps.
The makeovers might soften their feelings toward America.
By the way, that story also says that another weapon that didn't see the light of day was "one to make soldiers obvious by their bad breath."
Wouldn't want to be in that test lab.
According to Kroll, which sounds like a heavy-metal band but is actually the world's leading risk-consulting company, employers are finding an increasing number of "red flags" in job candidate background checks.
In other words, people are lying on their resumes.
This is stunning. Can't we all just be honest about our credentials and achievements?
By the way, if anyone asks, I'm still looking for evidence of all the awards that are on my resume. And that whole thing about me being a former Olympic athlete and getting a 1,600 on the SAT, well ... I was really just joking around.
On my way back from Austin on Sunday, there was a big slowdown in the Hillsboro area. I-35 was backed up for miles. After about 10 minutes, I passed a sign that I had never seen before:
"Incident ahead."
I've seen "accident ahead" signs before, but never one that warned me of an incident. I guess this could be used for times when the delay isn't caused by an accident -- although in this case it was caused by an accident -- but I bet this "incident" sign was made by mistake.
Kind of like the sign I've seen a couple of times at businesses:
"Thanks for your coroporation."
One final thanks to everyone who wrote to me in response to the column about Casper. As of last night, I had responded to nearly 100 people, but I've got another 100 or so to go. And I just received another e-mail as I write this.
I appreciate all the memories and well-wishes you shared with me. It's always great to hear from readers, whether the feedback is positive or negative. In this case, it's been overwhelming.
Casper would love that. He always wanted to be the center of attention.
I'll finish up my responses ASAP. And yes, I will blog about some other things.
Thanks again.
Well, as of five minutes ago, I've received 67 e-mails in response to today's column about Casper. Thanks to all of you who passed along your sentiments, poems, stories and memories of your own pets.
I appreciate each of you and promise to respond as soon an possible. I thought there were a lot of animal lovers out there, and this confirms it.
Thanks again to everyone (now 68).
I've always love dogs. The only down side to being a dog lover is that dogs just don't live long enough.
This week's column is a tribute to Casper, a strong-willed, independent-minded West Highland terrier who was part of my life for nearly 13 years. A very special dog, and not just because he's the only one I've known who liked to ride on boogie boards.
Thanks again to everyone who signed up for the free Humor Me newsletter last week. If you would like to sign up, there's a link at the top of this page and at the bottom of each of the columns. Humor Me is in the Entertainment category.
Have a great week.
You can do it! You can do the Pac-man!
Every popular kids television show or game inevitably has a cereal to go with it. Pac-man was one of the first back in the early '80s.
This commercial just screams '80s, especially with the dancing:
I keep seeing all these promos for America's Got Talent that flaunt having David Hasselhoff as a judge.
Is this really a point of pride?
I realize it's not much of a show, so there's not a lot to promote. But when the promos describe Hasselhoff as "The Hoff" ...
Well, that's just disturbing.
If anybody knows how to get in touch with The Singing Postman, please let me know. I would like to get this album cover autographed.
Games for kids always try to emphasize educational content. But I think most of the time, it's pretty bogus. Or way overrated.
Here's one example:
My son has "The Little Engine that Could" game. It's very simple. You spin a spinner and it points to a shape, and you advance your game piece to the next spot where that shape appears on the board.
That's it. That's the whole game. But on the box of the game, it says this about it:
"Encourages kindness, determination and confidence."
I think the thing it most encourages is for parents to find another game to play with their kids.
