Butt rot and bottom gas are in the building
I recently received Butt Rot and Bottom Gas in the mail, which many people might consider a terrorist act. Or a creative way to send feedback on one of my columns.
But actually, this was Butt Rot & Bottom Gas: A Glossary of Tragically Misunderstood Words. The publisher sent it to me for review.
I figured I would pass along a couple entries from the book:
bottom gas: A type of breathing gas carried in portable tanks and inhaled by underwater divers. (Is it odorless?)
butt rot: A fungal disease affecting the butt, or base, of a tree. (Trees prefer the term "base" over "butt")
loose smut: In botany, a group of diseases affecting cereal gasses such as corn, oats, rice and wheat.
Now that those words are part of our vocabulary, let's put our knowledge to use ...
After sustaining himself with bottom gas, Joe planned to spend the day inspecting loose smut and butt rot.
That should be quite a day. I hope Joe doesn't have a lobcock working with him.