10 Things You Should Never Do at Work
Careerbuilder has put together a list of 10 Things You Should Never Do at Work. Pretty obvious, but:
1. Stealing
2. Blaming someone else for your mistake
Especially if that mistake was stealing something.
3. Spreading gossip
Save it for a long lunch break that you can write off as a business expense.
4. Calling in sick when you are perfectly healthy …
5. … Or showing up when you aren’t
But if you make your coughing and sneezing very dramatic, you'll look very dedicated
6. Abusing office technology
But hey, I was just doing research on YouTube.
7. Involving co-workers in your personal problems
They'll just gossip about you afterward.
8. Getting too comfortable
Casual Friday doesn't open the door for pajamas at work
9. Hitting on your boss
Or just hitting your boss.
10. Hitting on your employee
And never create a virtual comment box. It will never work.
Humor Me: All together now -- comment!
By MATT WIXON
The Dallas Morning News
Hello fellow employees of Worldwide Associates Synergistic Technology Enterprises. Welcome to your new virtual comment box!
Why a virtual comment box?
It’s simple, really. Worldwide Associates Synergistic Technology Enterprises (WASTE) has always valued an environment in which employees can feel empowered to shape workplace culture and monitor co-workers who take office supplies home with them.
Also, the leadership team in your office — WASTE third floor, east wing, corridor B — has received few submissions to the office’s actual comment box. In an informal poll, we found that most employees believe the comment box is a Kleenex dispenser that’s been empty for three years.
So by adding this virtual comment box to the company intranet, we hope employees will offer constructive ways to make the third floor, east wing, corridor B an even better place to work. Employees can remain anonymous if they wish.
3F EAST B Comments:
A virtual comment box … great idea! Another example of management that is forward thinking and looking out for its employees. [Chris F.]
Geez Chris, you never miss a chance. Smooch, smooch. [Anonymous]
Can more parking spots be added in the garage? [Debbie R.]
Maybe if “some people” would stop taking up two spaces because they cherish their cars more than their families, we would have enough spaces. [Anonymous]
Oooh, somebody’s jealous! [Anonymous]
Could everyone please remember to clean their food out of the break-room refrigerator every once in a while? Some stuff has been in there for months! [Michelle A.]
Yeah, it looks like some kind of science project. But it smells better than you-know-who and his way-too-much cologne. [Anonymous]
And those smelly fish lunches somebody brings in EVERY DAY. [Anonymous]
If you’re the person who laughs loudly and then says something like “that’s funny!” or “I can’t believe that!” while talking to NOBODY … we know you’re trying to pull us into a conversation about something stupid. Don’t fall for it, everyone! Don’t encourage him! [Anonymous]
MODERATOR: We’re getting away from the purpose here. Let’s not make the comment box an environment for personal attacks or immaturity. Thanks.
Could somebody please change the huge drum of bottled water? The last time I did it, half of it ended up pouring out on my feet. [Anonymous]
We have too many meetings. Instead of some meetings, could we have discussion topics distributed through e-mail? [Mike V.]
That’s a good idea. But if the e-mail contains the phrases “paradigm shift” or “strategic platforms,” I’m deleting it. [Anonymous]
I already have any e-mail that has “paradigm” in it automatically sent to my junk-mail folder. The same for e-mails with “performance vector” — and any e-mail sent by Chris F. … Ha! [Anonymous]
At least Chris doesn’t talk so loudly on the phone that everyone hears him. And people, if you’re going to talk about your colonoscopy, please don’t use the speakerphone! [Anonymous]
MODERATOR: Remember, only constructive comments that can improve office wellness. Thanks.
Wellness? That’s another word that will send an e-mail to my junk folder! [Anonymous]
I’ll tell you what makes me unwell. The person who thinks she’s a great singer and must share her “gift” with everyone. It’s worse than the whistler on the fourth floor. [Anonymous]
Hey “anonymous” … I know who you are. You’re just bitter because I have a real talent and your only talent is annoying everyone and freaking them out with all those Star Wars figurines on your desk. [Anonymous]
MODERATOR: One final plea. Please keep your comments pertinent to improving the workplace.
Has anyone seen Spider-Man 3? I thought it was awesome! [David K.]
MODERATOR: Forget it. The office comment box will be returned to the table outside the boss’ office. A box of Kleenex will be next to it to eliminate any confusion.