Lover, fill in the blanks for Valentine's Day
Still looking for that perfect Valentine's Day gift?
Why not write a love letter instead?
Instead of going deep into credit-card debt, you can go deep into her heart by writing a romantic letter. With something elegant like "your pulchritude satiates me with effulgent rapture," she'll know just how important she is to you — or that some dude from Roget's Thesaurus is hitting on her.
It's best to use your own words, but man, that can be intimidating. Even more intimidating than the very polished, severe-looking women who ignore me at perfume counters.
But I've made it easy. Below is a customizable letter that you can send to your bewitching beauty/enchanting goddess/wild thang.
Simply fill in the response that's most appropriate for you, and your main squeeze will ardently yearn for your amorous dally. Or she'll at least forget, momentarily, that you forgot to take out the trash and spent her gift money on a value pack of Rogaine.
Dearest (put her name here if you know it),
I know you're probably surprised to get a letter like this from me, because you don't think I am ______.
A. romantic
B. good at expressing my feelings
C. literate
But on this Valentine's Day, I am thinking of you. And because I don't mention it enough, I just want to say ______.
A. how much I love you
B. how thankful I am to have you in my life
C. how hard it is to get to near you because of the restraining order
Dearest love, you are truly my valentine. Never forget how special you are to me. You will always be ______.
A. my hopes, my dreams, my everything
B. my friend, my lover, my soul mate
C. my maid, my cook, my designated driver
I treasure all of our moments together. I even remember how we met, although I almost didn't ask you out because ______.
A. I was so nervous
B. I thought someone as beautiful as you would turn me down
C. I had been arrested three days earlier for stalking
But I'm so glad that we did start dating. My gorgeous lady, I knew you were the woman for me from the moment _______.
A. I saw you
B. you first smiled at me
C. you agreed to put down the can of Mace
We've shared so many good times. So many exciting, unforgettable moments like our first kiss. It was such a magical feeling when you ________.
A. told me you had been waiting for me to kiss you
B. told me it was the best kiss of your life
C. told me to take another hit of Listerine
Ravishing belle, I cannot get you out of my mind. You are so wonderful, you make me want to be a better person. My only goal is to find a place in your ________.
A. heart
B. world
C. will
You are my resplendent enchantress, my most precious treasure in life. I'm sure you know by now that I will love you until _______.
A. forever and beyond
B. the end of the world
C. kickoff